It is Christmas Eve, only an hour and a bit until Christmas Day.

I wonder what pointless gifts I will receive. I have tried on several occasions (the last 2 Christmas' at least) to make it clear that I am not interested in the commercial holiday that is Christmas.

It used to mean something to me, it used to mean the end of the torture that was school, it was also mean 6 weeks away from the torture of school (although that last week, knowing what was to come, was never very enjoyable). It also meant receiving items I had lusted after for several months, which just made it all that more dissappointing when I actually got the plastic crap I'd been begging for for months.

Anyway, since I left school, Christmas lost some meaning, I was in college, which was not torture, I still had no income, but I didn't need any, I had my free bus travel :-) I would scrape together the money I did have, and buy what I thought people would want.

Then, I went into another phase of my life, I started working full time, getting good pay, and when I wanted something, I bought it, so I no longer had any commercial use for Christmas, it was just a few days off work, in fact, the only days/year I would take off, since I had no reason for any other days off.

I quit my full time job/life back in 2001, a few days before Christmas, mainly because my employer wanted me to work the few days between Christmas and New Year, I'd already put in for leave, and had it confirmed, but they changed their mind. I was new, I was cheap, I could run the office for those few days. Wrong, here's my resignation, bye. Christmas that year was just a bit of a relief from a year of crap, changing job roles twice, relocating a job, and resigning from 2 jobs.

Last year, I went back to college, earned another useless qualification (a whole other story, maybe I'll tell it one day), then worked casually for a mate's father's business. Christmas last year didn't mean much at all.

This year, Christmas means absolutely nothing to me. Allow me to waffle.. I have been nonemployed (not unemployed, nonemployed, I haven't been sacked or quit, I choose not to work) for the last 3 months, with a few days of casual work in there every now and then, and I'm loving it. I'm sick of "having" to do things, I do what I want, when I want, and it's great, I've never felt this good. I'm not getting much money, but that's not the point, if I wanted or needed money, I would get a job, or at least "look for one" and claim benefits, but again, I'm nonemployed, I don't want to work.

So anyway, back to the point. Christmas now has none for me. I don't know what you lot want, I don't even know what I want! But if I did, I would just buy it. Christmas is just an annoyance now. Today I got to battle my way around the shopping centre trying to find things I think my family will want, that's fine, but I can't handle it when people are seemingly purposely getting in my way to annoy me.

Yes, I'm talking to you you stupid woman. You look right at me as you walk towards me, then you decide to walk to your right, across my path, planning your speed and trajectory to be in my way for as long as humanly possible. It was all I could do to refrain from punching you out of my way.

Fair enough, it's my own fault for waiting until Christmas Eve to start and finish my Christmas shopping, but I would have thought I could have a 5 minute period of time without something annoying me.

The roads to the shops, and the carpark when I got there, were, of course, attrocious. "What do you expect?" I hear you say. Yeah, I should expect that, because the roads are full of people who DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. Try looking once in a while, or using your indicator, it's really not that hard.

Wow, that was a bit of a rant, I feel much better now.

I managed to get through all that hideousness, I get home, and I start wrapping the presents. On the first one, I managed to move my arm so as to catch it on my keys in my pocket, I injured my arm in an accident the other day, I have some nasty road rash, this resulted in blood exiting my arm. Nice. I continue wrapping the present, the tape runs out half way through. In trying to remove the empty tape roll, I snapped the tape dispenser, and I cut my thumb open. The rest of the presents are wrapped uneventfully, with the odd spot of blood here and there.

So now, I wait anxiously for tomorrow to arrive, if only for the whole nonsense to be over for another year. I wait to see the looks on peoples faces as they recieve the gifts I have chosen for them, as they realise it is something they do not want, or already have. I wait to see the craptastic things people have got for me (I really hope it is either nothing, or alcohol to get through the rest of this madness that is Christmas/New Year).

I think lunch tomorrow will be the time I announce that I am resigning from Christmas.

"Do not, repeat do not, buy me anything next year. I have no intention of getting you anything. If you get me something, I might say thankyou, but that will be all you will get from me".

I am not interested in this useless commercial holiday. I am not religious, and the only meaning it had to me before, as explained above, is no longer there. Christmas served it's purpose, but now, as far as I am concerned, it can go the way of Bobunk.